The stars were pretty tonight
by KawaiiKitsuneGirl
Summary: Levi knew it was his fault. It always was. Why had he left them? Why did he always leave them? Or was it they who always left him? Parental!Erwin


Hi minna!

Ok, I know that I should be updating Kami no Hoshi, but I recently was lured over to Attack on Titan! I watched all 25 episodes last night (and ended up going to sleep at 6 in the morning- I was a bit stupid!) and I discovered Levi.

Handsome, skilled, sassy, unafraid and an angsty past. Officially my new favourite character.

So after watching 'No regrets' parts 1 and 2, preceded by episode 22? 23? I felt that I had to write this.

Enjoy!

Levi sat alone.

It was dark outside; the kind of dark where even shadows are destroyed, dragged into the depths of the night along with any notion of warmth and comfort. Clouds black as ravens swooped maliciously over the moon and stars, covering the glowing orbs from sight of all; whether man, beast or Titan.

Good. He didn't deserve comfort.

Not tonight, when his carelessness had killed them again. Not years ago when he had first realised what his decisions cost. Not tomorrow when someone else would die because of him.

Another day. Another death. Another life snuffed out by the whims of those with power.

He should have known not to leave them. Bad things always happened when he left; Erwin-taicho told him not to regret but how could he not?

It had been him who led them there. It had been him who let them fight. It had been him who let them die.

But who else but him would they have listened to?

Günter, with his dark hair and down to earth attitude, struck down with a pointless death by those who should have been a friend.

Oluo, unwaveringly loyal in all he did, taken out as if he were a flea trying to bite the ass of a creature, as if he was no better than a gnat.

Eld, a true soldier and a leader to the end, bitten in half with a single snap of the female form Titan's jaw.

Petra, the newest to the squad with a caring presence, broken by the kick of that monster even as she tried to flee.

How could he ever make up for what he had done?

Her father had come up to him after they returned defeated, telling him about her excitement and joy at joining his team, and how she had such a good life ahead of her, even if he didn't want her to be married yet.

It had taken all he had not to just break down and cry for the loss of all that life. And for what? To protect a stupid little gaki like Eren, a boy who was just a rookie, who had barely touched the surface of the horror that was a Scout corps daily life.

"Damn it," Levi hissed, clenching his fist tightly against his leg. He sat on the parapet with one leg dangling down, one held up as if he was just languidly resting.

The last time he had been here was that night with Isobel and Falan, when they'd had a long future stretching out in front of them with life on the surface. They had persuaded him that day to let them come with him on the Expedition, the one he had been so against them coming on.

The next day they were dead. As dead as his current- no, his old team. Ex-friends, ex-team, ex-living.

"Chikusho!" Levi hissed again, scrunching his eyes up tightly to prevent the tears falling. Why should he cry when it was his fault that they were all dead?

His body trembled with the effort, lips parting slightly in a muffled sob.

It wasn't fair.

Why were they dead, and he alive?

Who decided that he could live, and they couldn't?

Why were they dead?

Why?

Levi finally gave up on not crying, and brought his other leg up to his chest timidly. He hugged his legs tightly, for once not caring about the mud and blood that covered them in liberal amounts, and let the tears fall down his cheeks.

His body shook with quiet sobs as he buried his head deep into the depths of his chest and cried.

He didn't want them to be dead… he didn't want this…he didn't want any of this!

Levi raised his head, wiping the tears off of his red cheeks, and punched his fist into the stone wall next to him. Once. Twice. A third time…

Suddenly, his trembling fist was caught; a firm grip wrapped warmly around his wrist. The man whipped his head around to see who had snuck up on him, his other hand rising to punch them and free the first hand, but met the blue eyes of Erwin Smith.

They were normally so cold and determined, but now they were softer and more sympathising.

"Levi, what's wrong?" Erwin asked, eyes holding him in frozen in place.

"Taicho…" Levi answered, eyes wide and slightly puffy.

Erwin sighed, and lowered the arm that held his fist still.

"It's okay Levi. It wasn't your fault that they died. It was the fault of that Titan, not you," Erwin told his junior quietly, letting his arm rest.

"But I was meant to be protecting them!" Levi burst out, breathing erratically as he looked with wide eyes at the blonde haired man.

"You had to do other things. You didn't need to stay with them; all four of them were strong fighters. They didn't need your protection,"

"I should have given it to them though! How can I not regret that?" the younger man cried, still focused solely on his superior.

"This is how the world is. You can't change what you've already done, all you can do is learn from it and not make that mistake again," Erwin answered softly, settling down on the parapet next to him.

"I can't! There isn't a next time taicho, not when they're dead"

"Not when… they're dead…" Levi repeated, eyes hooded before tears started to slide down his cheeks.

Whimpering almost silently, he drew his legs back up and shook in a defensive ball, ready to lash out if Erwin came too close.

Erwin sighed quietly. He had known it would come to this, had known since the moment he crossed the yard and saw Levi sitting there alone, curled up like he was now.

He had seen then that the man was grieving for his friends, and just wanted to be alone, but Erwin knew that the best way to handle these things was with someone else.

So he stood up, and picked the small captain off o his perch next to him, and sat them both down on the floor.

Levi startled, clawing and biting like a cat to get free, but Erwin hung grimly on until he gave up the struggle and grabbed onto his shirt instead.

The dark haired soldier broke down into his chest, crying tears of pain and guilt as the commander hugged him firmly, stroking the man's back in a fatherly manner.

Levi was indeed the child that he never had; too focused on the military to have a personal life. Levi had been a teen when Erwin found him, and the man had watched that teen grow into the responsible adult he was today.

He had been there by his side when his family was killed, when the two young subordinates had died on their first trip and Levi had retaliated in anger and pain.

He had been the one to comfort him that night, when everyone else was asleep and Levi had been alone in the dark, crying bitter tears for the siblings that he'd never see again.

He had hugged the boy close then, as he did to the man now, and helped him focus on what was important in their life. On the living soldiers, on the plans and strategies, upkeep of the weapons, techniques, speed, training, scouting- on their job.

Erwin sighed once more and looked up to the sky. The clouds were gone, and the moon shone through the faint fog that remained.

The stars were pretty tonight.


End file.
